Love & Marriage....

I am in love with my husband all over again!

I have mad love for him and its all just starting to come back. No, seriously, Chris and I have been focused on Corey this past 5 months (not to mention the 9 months waiting for him to come out) that we have drifted apart.

One drunken night, it all came out and I told him there was no spark and that we aren't even intimate anymore. When you're drunk, the truth comes out whether you want it to or not. Chris said some choice words to me but I hurt his feelings really bad that night and ever since then we are making up for it to each other.

Another eye opener was when a friend was having a fight with her husband and I had asked if she was ok. Her response was "We're okay, we are just having one of your and Chris's fights." She was saying their fight was comparable to our fights. It kind of upset me that she would say that but I had it coming when we argue out in the open in front of people. All couples fight, but its the ones that are out in the open that really counts, not because you'll remember them but other people will remember them and so will you. I don't remember that we fight about who's doing what around the house but I do remember the fight we had when we were at his uncle's wedding in '07 and I drove off mad (I didn't leave him, he got in before I could drive off, door dinging his brother's car along the way)

So, with those events taking into play, I realized he's my husband and I wouldn't trade him for anything ...okay maaaaybeee Tom Brady. But until Tom comes along, I'm really appreciating Chris a lot more now for what he does. And man, does he do a lot. My husband cooks, cleans, does laundry, vacuums, takes care of the baby, takes out the trash, does grocery shopping, mows the lawn, etc. I have talked to him about this and he says he appreciates me, too, which makes me happy. I asked what he appreciates about me and he said the way I take care of Corey, the way I take care of myself. He loves my body which is crazy since I just had a baby. He loves that I'm independent, that I can go have my fun while he has his. He loves that I work and bring home a pay check. He says thats why he does all the stuff I mentioned above without complaint. He knows that one thing we compromised when having Corey was that I would go to second shifts but he also knew I would not be cooking and laundry when I had to work. He is a sweetheart and I am so lucky to have him. Its made me realize I can't let him go so he's stuck with me and vise versa.

So we are fighting less and wrestling more...if you know what I mean!!


OOOOHHHH! One other thing I keep forgetting to blog about

Corey has said his first word!! Dada...!

He started saying that on July 17th. I had a small ping of disappointment but I'll give Chris this one thing since Corey looks just like me. And of course because like I said above, Chris really deserves the honor for all that he does for us!

We love you 'dada'!

Seperation Anxiety & My Grandmother

It is happening...Corey won't let me put him down and when he is with people and I leave his sight, he bawls and bawls. I knew it would happen one day but I didn't know it was going to be this early on. The good news is that when we leave him somewhere with a grandparent or a babysitter, he doesn't seem to be phased. Its only when I put him in someone else's arms and right away he realizes those arms aren't his mommies. And I have become one lazy mommy putting everything aside from scrapbooking to cleaning to even shopping just because I don't want him crying in his swing in the living room or even stroller because I can't hold him or carry him around. So, I do nothing at all and Chris comes and the house is messy and the groceries aren't there. I need a maid or a nanny. No, I need some balls and just let him cry, right?!

He got this way because of me always having him in my arms. He is spoiled because I have spoiled him. So I shouldn't complain. I love the little guy! In all seriousness, Corey will be growing and crawling and walking soon so I should cherish the time where he wants to be in my arms!

Like I said, I'm getting to be pretty lazy at things and I know Chris is getting upset about it. He picks up the slack though and I really really appreciate it and love him for it. I'm hoping he knows how much I love him. I'll get there someday where I have the energy to feed, bathe, and play with Corey along with clean, cook, and run errands.

Last week was a really hard week to live through. My grandmother came to Illinois on the 16 of June and has been struggling to adjust. The last weekend in June, she had lots of stress build up on her weak body and was rushed to the hospital that Monday. Tuesday I was waiting to go see her while the doctors did a stress test on her. She was to be in there for 3 hours and barely and hour later the doctor called my cousin whom I was with at the time and told her to get back to the hospital asap. We were freaking out. The dr said her heart stopped beating for 15 seconds. We were in shock. The doc said he was going to put a temporary pace maker in her for that day and sched the next day for surgery for a permanent pacemaker. At that time, all my aunts and uncles rushed to her bedside along with most of my little cousins and my aunt and her family with my brother and his girlfriend who all live in Texas. I went in late to work that day, not wanting to leave but knew I had to. The next day my family from Texas came right before she went into surgery. It was terrible seeing her cry from being so scared and watching her be wheeled out. I freaking cried and cried. But it was kind of a distraction when I finally saw my little brother and him finally meeting Corey. It was so cute how he wanted to keep him all day. I decided it would be best to stay in Bloomington to see my grandma and spend time with my family in the light of her surgery so I called in and I am so happy I did. I was able to see my grandma come out of surgery and hang out with my brother and his girlfriend for a while.

Needless to say, when you have an elderly in the hospital there is going to be fighting among family and ours was the worst. Everyone fought and I just stayed back and stayed out of it. For the most part, I was just happy to see family and to see my grandma come out of it alive and well. She is truly the strongest out of anyone I know and I'm so happy to call her my grandma.

I have

Corey's 'guest book' is done. Here are some a couple of pages of it:

Why am I so stressed?

I am so stressed about something but don't know what it is...I've been fidgety and nervous since the start of the week. Last night, I couldn't go to sleep until 2 o'clock. Some reasons may be...

*Work...of course.

*I looked down at Corey today and realized how big he is. He's practically sitting up on his own and looks around like a big boy of a year old would. He's growing like a weed. He holds his bottle up on his own and takes his pacifier and will take it in and out of his mouth.

*My grandmother is coming to visit for the summer from Texas. She will be here on the 15th and it can not come soon enough. I'm so excited to see her...and have her meet Corey! I missed her so much it kinda hurts to think about.

*My mom went back to work after having 3 weeks off and seeing her everyday for that amount of time...I miss hanging out with her.

*I went to the dentist yesterday before work...no cavities but my wisdom teeth are coming in kinda funny. Kinda worried about that but even before my appointment, I was worried about actually going to the dentist and being late for work since it was hour before I had to start. It was all good, though.

*I've been stressed about family...I don't like it when people think of me in a bad light. People say I've changed, yes I've changed I agree but I know thats not all me and people should understand. I guess what needs to be done is to fix myself and that is exactly what I'm going to do. Not because I think I have to but because I want to. I want to be my old self and be lovable, huggable Rosanna. I don't want Corey growing up hearing how big of a bitch his mommy is!

As I'm writing this, all I want right now is ice cream...

I don't take stress very well. I never have. I talked to my mom about this at some point when I was pregnant. She recalls when I was a teen that I would just break down and shut myself in my room and cry and cry. Can't really do that nowadays...I guess I grew out of it. I do remember the day we were talking about it when I was pregnant, I did cry, she said it wasn't the pregnancy, it was me just being me. I think she's right because right now I want to cry. Just one more day of work and I have the weekend!

Zoo & Bridal Shower

We had a jam packed weekend. We took Corey to Glen Oak Zoo in Peoria for their grand opening of the new Africa part. I was so excited about it. When I was younger, I lived less than a mile from the zoo and the park and always walked there. For visitations, my dad always took us there. I don't remember my mom ever taking us but I do remember getting a picture taken sitting on the big lion outside of the building, I wish I had that picture but I'm sure my dad took it and he has it. When I was about 9 or 10, I remember walking to to the zoo with my little friends. I thought I was so grown up! My mom found out and she freaked out. I would have too now that I think about it. My little niece is about that age and I would be freaked if she ran around the middle of Peoria...scary!

ANYWAYS...so we went Saturday and got there right in time to see the cutting of the ribbon. I made Chris record it with the new camcorder...not sure why...but we have it. We got lots of footage of Corey looking at the animals, but we aren't sure if he was actually seeing them. I also took lots of pictures to scrapbook of Chris holding him up to see the lions and tigers and monkeys! Its going to be fun to scrapbook. I bought paper for this 2 months ago so I'm excited to get going on that layout. Unfortunately, it will have to be after I get done with his hospital pictures...FROM WHEN HE WAS BORN!!!

I also went to my friend, Courtney's bridal shower after the zoo. It was so nice to see her and her family as well as the other girls we hang out with, Carrie & LeeAnn. We try to see each other as much as possible. I had lots of fun playing the bridal games like Name the Spice and dressing up Leeann in toilet paper to see who can make the best bridal gown. Of course, the bride's team won but I think we did an awesome job! I took Corey and everyone was just gushing over him...he loved the attention and didn't cry once.

Sunday, we were at Wal-mart contemplating on what we should do with the anniversary money his parents gave us. It took us an hour to figure out we wanted to start painting rooms in our house and then we had to figure out which color we wanted our spare bedroom to be. I chose this cute purple. I'm excited to see it when its finished. I'm going to put up sayings in every room in the house with vinyl lettering. Corey's saying is "Set your goals high and don't stop until you get there!" He has a sports theme in his room so it goes with the theme. My room will be blue and I want our saying right above our bed and it will say, "Always kiss me goodnight" I'm not sure what the spare room's saying will have. I'm getting ideas online but I'm excited to use my new die cutting machine, the Silhouette, to cut out the lettering!

All in all, it was a great weekend. I want to say we are the perfect little family but I know thats not true and everyone has problems...neither one of us, Chris or I is perfect. I just know that we can overcome any obstacles that comes around. We love each other and our families and that will never change.

3 years on the 3rd!

I'm SCRAPBOOKING!! I'm getting things done and trying to put books together...I have 3 or 4 projects going so hopefully I can get them done by this weekend. On Sunday, I returned my Cricut since I only used it once and bidded on eBay for a Silhouette machine. I won, it wasn't too bad, $130, I can't wait to use it. I told Chris its for my anniversary which is tomorrow. I won't get it until Friday though. Too bad...I'll be scrapbooking a lot that day and Sunday. I'll be pretty busy Saturday so no time for scrapbooking then.

On Sunday, my mom took Corey for the night. She's been begging me to have him spend the night again. I'm getting more comfortable with it so I let her. She came around 1pm Sunday afternoon taking full advantage of it and took him early. Chris and I didn't know what to do with ourselves so we stayed around town eating at Pizza Hut and mowing the lawn together. We went for a long walk and looked at houses around town, picking out what we liked about this house and that, getting ideas. Morton has the best looking houses. We went to see Night at the Museum which was really cute, but definitely a kids movie. We got home and watched a movie and I drank two whole glasses of wine. It was amazing. Chris and I don't hug and cuddle anymore or as much now that Corey's here but we did Sunday and I have to admit, I miss it. In all seriousness, Chris used to be my baby and I would be so affectionate towards him he was sick of it. Now that we aren't as affectionate, I think he misses it too! I'm going to try to show him more attention, my anniversary gift to him. Which reminds me...he is going on a trip with his cousin to the Grand Canyon this summer, not sure if its this month or next but also on Sunday, we walked around Best Buy trying to waste time before the movie and just wondering what to do without the baby in tow. We went there to just look around and for some reason went straight to the camcorders...I guess because we own everything else electronic-wise. 2 of everything. Computers, cameras, iPods, Wii for me, PS3 for him, tvs. We looked at all of them and priced them. Then we went around the store just thinking about if we really wanted and needed it. We played Madden '09 on the stores XBox 360 while thinking. We decided to get it. We realized that we needed to start recording Corey's life and when Chris goes to the Grand Canyon, I'm going to want to see how it was, so we bought it. We took it home and got started by recording our house outside and telling Corey how we got the house and showing him how it is before any big transistions are done, i.e. roof. So that was my anniversary present to him:)

As for Corey, he's just amazing. He knows his mommy and that makes me so proud. When my moms around though, he only wants her, which is fine with me, sometimes I need a break. Its hard to say that out loud because I want to be super mom but I know that I can't. I'm glad I have my mom around for times like those. She's the only one I really trust with him.

Well, tomorrow is offically 3 years together. I'm so proud of us! Yay!

OH Scrap!

I scrapbook. I have been for almost 3 years since my honeymoon. My sister-in-law got me into it and I think that is the biggest reason why I started it was to have something in common with her. I believe its helped us get closer. But the reason I've stuck with it is because I truly love it. I love taking pictures, journaling on pages, the embellishments, the die cutting tools. Just everything. I especially love the colorful paper. It sounds really funny when I say I'm addicted to paper. If you go into my linen closet, its not full of linens and blankets. Its where I store all of my paper and I have tons. I know its not really 'green' to keep buying paper but I try to make up for it by recycling.

My husband hates it. I spend lots of money getting the right paper, embellishments, pictures, and albums. I once spent over $15 on one layout. I've spent hundreds of dollars on die cutting tools and dies. I have Quickutz and the Cricut. Each one comes out with new fonts and shapes to add to your collection. Just Monday, I ordered a new font for my Quickutz for $20, not bad. But in months to come I'll be getting 3 new fonts which would equal out to be around $200!!! I'm addicted. I feel guilty about buying them because....

....I HAVE NO MOTIVATION TO SCRAPBOOK!!!!

Why am I still buying stuff for scrapbooking when I'm not even using the stuff that I have?!? Its so annoying when they come out with new stuff and everything looks so cute! Its like, I need this, I need that, one of those please, one of that! And it so doesn't help that the websites like scrapyland keeps coming up with sales. Agggghhh! I can't keep up! Love it, love it, need it, want it...hate it!

The worst feeling though that I have about this is that I have the best motivation for scrapbooking...MY SON! I should want to be scrapbooking every little thing but I'm not. Why? Because I can't put my baby down. I have enough time before work to do it, heck, I can do it during work. But all I want to do in before work is play with Corey and rest up for the long day ahead and when I'm working, I sit down and get ready to start but then I have scrapbook block, kinda like writer's block, I can never get any ideas out. I have mush for brains:(

Agh! Hopefully, that new font I ordered will give me the motivation I need to start getting my passion for scrapbooking back....or not. I'm so behind...oh scrap:(